Revealing the Real Me

My Week - I want my energy back!!

2011-12-17T08:26:00.000+10:00

I have been re-reading Dr John Tickell's book "The Great Australian Diet 2" and have decided that once all the fanfare of the festive season is over that I will give it a red hot shot.

Now in saying this I realise that:

I'm not very good at hugely dramatic changes, and
Two weeks before Christmas is not really the ideal time to be overhauling ones eating habits.

So what I have done is start to incorporate some of Dr John's suggestion into my eating.

I really like his idea of eating less foods that are high in HI (Human Interference). With this in mind I have stocked up on fruit and veg and everytime I want a lolly or a biscuit I have a few bit size pieces of fruit. I have been making some sensational smoothies for breakfast in addition to a piece of toast and a poached egg - I'll have mine extra soft please!

Lunch has been chicken and salad, but I make my own dressing - something different everyday and NO chemicals!! Dinner is veg or salad and a small piece of meat. Though we treated ourselves to sushi the other night. And I have had a glass of wine here and there though I find myself feeling more like a run instead!!

We ae doggie sitting so its been fairly easy to get in a couple of walks everyday!

I definitely noticed that I had more energy earlier in the week; which is great because my job has just become a hell of a lot more hectic (I love it), my self-esteem has improved (no more depressing thoughts), I'm craving healthy food, not junk and I am having some strange dreams - usually loosely based on something I have seen on the news (I EVEN had one where I was having sex with my husband!!).

However yesterday and today I feel like I am hungover, despite having hardly anything to drink. Last night I was in bed until 7.30pm and slept through till 6am! Very unusual as I'm a 7 to 8 hour tops kind of girl!! I just feel tired, I want to do stuff but am really struggling to haul my ass of the couch!!

I hope its just my body getting used to this new routine and not something more sinister! I want my energy back!

Fuck! I'm Fat Again!!

2011-12-10T10:21:00.000+10:00

Image borrowed from Here

Thursday, just gone, the red Cross Blood Mobile was outside my work. I hadn't donated in a while and thought it would be a good idea.

So when it was time for my appointment I filled in my paperwork and waited for a chair to become available.

My time came.

I entered the van and the nurse said, hop on the scales and someone will be with you in a minute.

FUCK!!!

SCALES!!!

I had totally forgotten that you had to be weighed before donating.

Ok so I hope by now you have the idea that I REALLY didn't like the number that I saw!!

Please don't think that I have been kidding myself! I've known the creep has been upon me the last few months, I've noticed my clothes getting tighter and my wardrobe options getting smaller, I've been tired and struggling to get out bed in the morning. I've been a bit depressed, down on myself and comparing myself to the unattainable.

Anyway, I know the number (maybe I'll tell you one day) and have made the decision that it won't get any higher.

So even though it was Friday (and most diets start on a Monday - I'm not dieting - I'm getting off that roller coaster) I have started refocusing. I packed my walking shoes and did a walk after work (I got off the bus early and walked at lunch too), I was as selective as I could be with my food - I wasn't as good as I could have been. Today I've made a fruit platter for grazing and picking!

Everything little thing helps!

PS - I haven't had a drink all week!!

Questions I've Been Asked Since Getting Married

2011-12-09T20:30:00.000+10:00

We had a great wedding car hey?

I've been asked a range of questions, which all seem pretty standard in terms of what newlyweds are asked.

Here is a selection and what answers I wish I had the guts to give (disclaimer - answers not necessarily true).

Q. How's married life treating you?
A1. Shit really, I wish I had stayed single, the only good part is the party and extra jewellery. (wishful)
A2. Oh its great we hardly stop shagging. (wishful)

Q. Are you pregnant yet?
A1. Fuck me do you think a wedding is all it takes? (wishful)
A2. No are you? (wishful) - think I'll start using this one?

Q. Are you going to change your name?
A. No. (true)

Q. Are you one of those modern women?
A. Yes, but more than that I like my name. (true)

Q. What if you have kids?
A. What if I don't? (wishful)

Q. Have you kept your wedding dress?
A. Ah yeah (true)

What weird or frustrating questions came your way after tieing the not?

I Want to be in the Cool Gang! (Blog Comments)

2011-12-07T22:28:00.001+10:00

Image borrowed from Here

I have been thinking a great deal about blog comments lately.

Since returning from my self-enforced blogging hiatus (new job, finishing uni, getting hitched, lost smartphone) I have hardly received any comments or any new followers (not surprised at this one because I haven't been pimping myself on other blogs except for the odd comment here and there). Lucy yes, I have received yours - thank you for always having a kind word).

This lack of comments makes me wonder how many readers or active followers do I actually have? Followed by asking myself how much do they mean, am I putting too much stock in them, is my writing self-esteem directly to the amount or quality of comments that I receive?

Then I look at some of the really famous blogs that I follow (Diminishing Lucy, Wanderlust, Suger Coat It - to name a few) and I wonder how on earth do they keep up with the number of comments and responses their fabulous posts receive?

This leads me to admit that if I'm not in the first five or ten people to comment I don't often bother, because quite often they all start to sound the same and I don't want to write anything that might come across as insincere and joining in to be part of the crowd.

But then Hello! I do want to be part of the crowd.

I want to be part of that cool gang that is inspired to write everyday despite also juggling the balls of work, motherhood, wifeliness etc etc.

I want to be part of that cool gang who inspire even just a few through their finely constructed words.

I want to be part of the cool gang that meets up in person with their new bloggy friends.

But ultimately I want to be part of the cool gang who gets more than a few fuzzy comments!

An Update on My Problem with Alcohol

2011-12-04T08:06:00.000+10:00

Back in March I wrote a pretty open and frank post about My Problem With Alcohol and well since then I reckon I had been doing ok. I haven't written myself off in ages!! I had been showing a level of control. I'm particularly proud to say that I got through my wedding and hen's night without a vomit in sight and I can remember most of both wonderful nights!

I posted that post over at Lucy's Weekend Rewind because I need reminding of how far I have come.

Friday night was an epic fail.

Work Christmas Party!

I wasn't going to go! I knew I would be "that" person! And yes I was. I won't go into detail, I feel embarassed enough.

Needless to say I'm not feeling very proud of myself and am determined to get this thing under control again!

I Lost My iPhone!

2011-11-28T20:23:00.001+10:00

Image borrowed from Here

Yeah - I know can you believe it?

And it was the night before my wedding. Could have been a nightmare - but I'd written all the important numbers down!

Long story - and it all happened because I was stewing on something that really doesn't matter anymore!

I could have really lost the plot but I kind of had bigger things to think about that day.

I haven't replaced it yet, I've gone back to my old Nokia.

I really loved my iPhone, but I don't miss it so much anymore.

I've realised how much of a time zapper it is. Since losing it I'm reading more, cooking more, writing more and being social (in person) more.

I no longer crave updating my facebook status, or checking my emails before getting out of bed. I watch the news if I want to know what the weather is doing and I use a camera to take a photo! I am no longer glued to "Bejeweled", "Words with Friends" or "Ebay"!

What would do a little more of and a little less of if you no longer had technology at your fingertips?

PS - As I write this I realise that I do prefer life with an iPhone and would not say no to a new one Santa ! xx

Let's Talk About Sex

2011-11-27T10:30:00.000+10:00

Image borrowed from here

I am reading Mia Culpa by Mia Freedman and she makes some interesting observations about how people talk about sex.

I used to talk about sex ALL the time, probably because I actually got very little or because the little I did get was limited to one night stands or bootie calls. I reflect on this time (my twenties & if I'm honest early thirties) and I think I talked about it and turned my sexcapades in tales of adventure and hilarity in order to hide the feelings of worthlessness and being used that I really felt, the ones that hit faster than you put your knickers back on!

That post-orgasm glow disappeared with the smoke if the post-coital cigarette and I turned it into something to be laughed at, to be shrieked and humour was to become my shield.

I don't talk about sex so much now. I can't help but wonder why. Even when my friends bring it up, I turn all prudish and don't feel the need to discuss, have I moved to a different stage of life? That stage where I don't feel the need to broadcast the details to anyone who will listen. Is it because I have a man who loves me for me, that doesn't only want me just to scratch that itch? Or have I just become boring?

How has the way you talk about sex changed as you get older or your relationships change?

Finding My (Writing) Voice

2011-11-26T09:29:00.001+10:00

Image borrowed from here

I know I know it has been a long time in between posts, but please trust me when I say I have started many a draft only to lose momentum or not really know what I want to say.

I started this blog as a weight loss blog but weight loss hasn't really been a focus of my life for the last few months.

I read all these other fabulous blogs and tell myself I will never sound as good as that. they have an opinion, they have something to say - where I still feel I am finding my way.

I want to sound original, I want to sound cool but I feel like I sound like a fake, I feel like a fool......because

I want to be validated by lots of comments and feel part of the crew.

In real life, I am hardly ever stuck for words, funny quips just flow from my tongue, I have opinions and can convey them eloquently - why can't I get them out here!

Maybe I'm overcomplicating the process and should just start writing abiut what I want to write about - but shit that's the problem I don't know what I want to write about!

Where the hell do I start?

Well What A Year!!

2011-11-19T20:11:00.000+10:00

I know the year's not quite over yet, but a conversation at work yesterday got me thinking about how much I have done this year!

I know I haven't blogged very much but I think I have the following very good reasons for not doing so:

I got engaged!
I quit a job that I hated!
I started two new jobs twice as was the plan!
I finished my uni degree - yes you can call me the Professor!
I became an aunty (by my brother) and a great-aunty (by my husband's neice)!
Oh yeah I got married!
I have been to Bali, Hervey Bay, Airlie Beach and Sydney (all since the 5th of October)

I hope you agree that I can cut myself a bit of slack because I have achieved these amazing things! And as a special treat here are some pics of the most fantabulous day of my life (so far)! Details and stories to follow in future posts!

Tony Soprano makes Me Horny!

2011-09-11T07:27:00.000+10:00

Yeah I know, most if you are probably screwing your noses up!

I know he's not your regular sex symbol (ie David Beckham, Julio Iglesies, Hugh Jackman). But I've always liked guys who don't quite fit that manlier than man stereotype...(but I would kick Beckham out of bed).

But there is just something about Tony Soprano that gets me going (no it's not because he 's trying to be cute in the pic below) and there are no complaints from a certain someone in my house ;-)

I have watched season 1 through 3 over the last few months and its not until season 3 that I noticed any stirrings in that direction at all.

Maybe it's the power, maybe it's the money, maybe it's the danger, maybe it's the vulnerable interior sheltered by the tough shell. Maybe it's the fact that he pulls hot chicks, maybe it's my inner neandethal.

I can't help but think this temporary fantasy says more about me than it does about the character. I wonder what Doctor Melfi would say?

What unlikely characters have done it for you??

Money money money - advice please!

2011-08-22T22:35:00.001+10:00

Hi all,

I need your advice please.

I am working for one if the largest companies in the world - in HR.

I get to see everyone's salaries.

Two months into a 6 month contract I have been offered a permanent position.

I am currently the only person in my team.

I have been offered $5k more than I started on 2 months ago.

I see people way less experienced and qualified than me earn a lot more - its kinda insane really.

I know I need to ask for more.

But I fill myself with doubt and all those typical female thoughts that stop us earning the same as men.

I'm prepared to put myself out there - I just need your thoughts on exactly what to say!

What do you suggest?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Not so bad!

2011-08-03T20:42:00.001+10:00

Measuring day at gym today.

Going through the normal crap when I know I've done the wrong thing.

But alas, 1 kilo is gone and even better 9 cms all over!

I ROCK!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Is it rude?

2011-08-02T17:58:00.001+10:00

Is it ruder to wake up someone on the bus who is snoring or not wake them up?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Green Thumbs

2011-08-01T19:37:00.000+10:00

After months...hang on make that years of crying "I want a vegie patch" "I'm sick of paying too much for food we throw out" my lovely husband to be planted me a vegie garden!

We have tomatoes, snow peas, lettuce, zucchini, baby carrots, beetroot and (if they survive) eggplant.

This piccies were taken a week or so ago and everything has grown heaps since then and yesterday we started a second bed with brocolli and a heap of herbs!

I can't wait to start harvesting!

Freak Out!! Week 2 of 8 Week Challenge.

2011-07-31T09:06:00.000+10:00

I mentioned in my last post, that I was planning to start an 8 week challenge with a new gym - well I have and Week 1 was sensational!!

I ate well, didn't have any alcohol, I exercised and slept for the right amount of time!

Week 2 - Abso - freakin - blow out! I ate - oh god did I eat! I drank - oh god did I drink! I didn't keep my food diary - AT ALL - not one little note!! the only exercise I did was my half hour personal training session!! I had butter on my toast! And I had lots of late nights which resulted in a big fat migraine on big fat Friday!

So its back to basics again for me!! Today I am going to write my menu plan, I'm going to schedule in exercise, I'm going to sleep right and I'm not having any wine in the house!!

I'm stressing about looking like a whale in my wedding dress - I need a hint of a waist - and am hoping that I won't need to buy a girdle!!

Send your weight loss vibes my way!!

PS - I love this pic of my bro and I - mucking about - unrelated to the post but wanted to share!!

Just Someone I Used to Know!

2011-07-20T18:48:00.000+10:00

Hi Readers,

Its only a bit over ten weeks until I tie the knot with my lovely man.

But more and more lately I've been wondering about a couple of guys in my past. Just wondering kind of stuff, I haven't thought of them for ages and only one do I kind of wish that I had left things differently.

Just wondering what they are up to, would they think my husband to be is right for me? What advice would they give me? What advice would they give him? What would they say? Should I contact the one mentioned above and let him know? Will I bump into them one day with kids in tow and have to answer questions like "Mummy, who's that?" with "Oh its just someone I used to know"?

Another Return

2011-07-17T08:46:00.000+10:00

One of my greatest real life friends (who also happens to be trying her hand at blogging - Lou) told me that I should get writing again. And I think I need a bit of focus again! So Hi Guys - Here I Am!!

I have to admit I've been a bit 50/50 about it. The is due to a few reasons - most of them probably excuse - you can choose for yourself which ones you think are real - they all seem real to me!

I've just finished uni forever and am enjoying the break from the computer
I've been busy planning a wedding - 10 weeks to go people - 10 weeks!
I have fallen off the weight loss wagon - not sure how badly yet, but there is definitely more skin around my central area
I've started another new job which is flat out (but I love it)
I have lots of chores around the house that could do with some attention, e.g. the linen cupboard & skirting boards
I've been wanting to change the direction of my blog and not make it so much of a weight loss blog
I really want to find my "funny" writing voice - I read other amazing blogs that are so laugh out loud funny and I want that to be me!!

I've thought about starting a completely new blog but then I risk losing the 100+ posts that I've written here that have been a fundamental expression of my journey over the last year and then some. So I figure I just keep writing here and hopefully entice some of my past readers back.

So with 10 weeks until the wedding you'd think I'd be stressing about putting weight one - I am, but I'm not - weird hey? I have been eating way too much chocolate, lollies and drinking too much wine, I love them all!!! There's a little family owned gym near me and they sent out an email last week lookng for someone to share some PT sessions with another client - I thought it was a sign so stuck up my hand, turns out next week the gym starts their 8 week challenge - maybe that's a sign too so I'm going to throw my hat in the ring - maybe the focus and the push will do me some good!!

Gotta run and do my food plan - got the bridesmates coming over this arvo for some girly time xxx

I Have a Sore Foot!

2011-05-23T18:29:00.000+10:00

I have a sore foot!

I mentioned it to a couple of people and didn't think very much of it, because it sort of came and went. It's weird because it hurts more when I walk after being in bed (hmmmm bed) or sitting for a while.

That combined with a cold (boo hoo) has put me off walking lately!

This weekend it seemed to get worse, so I thought I had better get myself off to the doc.

He had me diagnosed within a minute! What a relief to know its not vascular, as I thought. But what a bloody pain.

So what is Planter Fasciitis you ask? Good question! Its an inflammation of the Planter Fascia tendon which holds your foot together from the heel to the ball that results from overpronation, tight calves and achilles or "poor foot biomechanics, age or weight gain".

The treatments are wide and varied and I am really disppointed to say that one of them is rest - disppointed because I need to start my long walks again soon...before I get too comfy in my trackie daks. I have tracked down some exercises to help make my Fascia more flexible - sounds good doesn't it and hope to be back in action in no time!

Wish me luck!

Celebrity Spotting

2011-05-22T10:45:00.002+10:00

I went to Paniyiri yesterday and indulged in all things Greek, get your mind out of the gutter - not ALL things Greek! But I did have lots of food - souvlaki,octopus, sausages, haloumi, loukamades all washed down with too much retsina!

And to top off a great day I was lucky enough to meet the gorgeous Melissa Bergland from Winners and Losers!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Charity Begins at Home!

2011-05-08T15:42:00.001+10:00

I am doing a PR assignment which requires me to write a campaign to raise the profile (within the community) of a small, local organisation that assists people who are homeless or at risk of homelessness. I am in the research phase of the project and it got me to thinking - so thought I'd make a shout out here!

Do you regularly support (finacially or physically) any charities or community groups?

What do you do? Who do you support?

How do you decide which charity or community group you support?

What charity events do you like to attend?

If you don't, what makes you choose not to?

Image found at - http://officialmissionaustralia.blogspot.com/2010/07/media-release-mission-australia-to-roll.html

Wednesday Wisdom

2011-05-04T06:46:00.000+10:00

"Life is so much easier if you are nice to people and use your manners"

- Andrea Westbrook 2011

Do Tell - What pearl of wisdom would you pass on to the world!

Image found at- http://www.whatsupblog.com/?p=56

Recipe Time - Porcupines

2011-05-02T08:56:00.001+10:00

When we have kids this is going to be a family favourite!

This is quick and easy comfort food at it's best!

I love to make it and I love to eat it!

Porcupine Meatballs

Ingredients

Meatballs

500g good quality mince

1/2 cup fresh breadcrumbs

1/2 cup raw rice

1 large onion - finely chopped

1 clove garlic - finely chopped

1 egg

1 tbsp mixed herbs

1 tbsp tomato sauce

Sauce

Worcestshire Sauce

Salt & Pepper

400g can tomato soup

1/2 can water

Method

1. Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees celcius

2. Combine all meatball ingredients, mix well and shape into balls

3. Place into a casserole dish

4. Cover with soup and water

5. Add a few good shakes of worcestshire sauce

6. Cover and simmer until rice is tender (about 45 mins)

I like to take the lid off the dish for the last ten minutes to add a brown touch to the meatballs. Feel free to sprinkle with cheese at this stage too.

I'm a Piglet!!

2011-05-02T08:37:00.002+10:00

FAR OUT!!!

I have pigged out this weekend!

It's not that I lost control - ok well maybe a little bit.

Let's have a look:

Friday Night - pizza, sausage rolls, drank a bottle of wine and some Baileys!
Saturday Morning - same as above minus the wine and Baileys - of course!!
Saturday Afternoon - mini custard tarts and half a large bag of chips,
Saturday Night - Sweet & Sour MSG from the local Chinese takeaway and ice-cream!
Sunday Morning - started ok with eggs on toast and cups of tea.
Sunday Lunch - McDonald's Cheeseburger meal.
Sunday Afternoon - 3/4 packet of chocolate biscuits, more custard tarts and a slice of pizza!

It doesn't look good does it?

You know what? I actually enjoyed it!! Well, up until that slice of pizza! the I had that horrible stoggy, too full feeling!!

But I don't feel guilty and I know I can get back on track starting today! I look back on what I ate and think how much I enjoyed it going in, but I know that I won't be doing it again today!

I know that I have changed, that I can't eat like that all the time anymore, without paying the price.

Today I am going to eat fruit and veg, protein and drink only water! I am going to go for a walk, do some uni work and move as much as I can!

What are you going to do to recover from any damage you might have done?

Image found at http://queelque.tumblr.com/post/681829414/teacup-pig-in-wellies

Transformation

2011-04-27T07:24:00.001+10:00

I've seen a couple of my favourite bloggers - Sugar Coat It
and BMI Don't Care - revamp their blogs in the most wonderful way. (sorry I haven't linked back to these guys I am on the bus writing from my iPhone and haven't worked out how to do it yet xx)

I want to do it too! But I don't know where to start!

So those of you with fabulous, jazzy blogs can you please suggest some arty, creative IT types for me to have a look at?

Pretty please xx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I'm Ba-ack!!!

2011-04-26T07:58:00.002+10:00

Hi Everyone,

Just a quick one to let you know that I'm ba-ack. Well actually, I'm still around...I have been lurking...keeping tabs on my favourite bloggers!

Hopefully you will see from my ticker that my weight loss is still going in the right direction and while double figures still allude me I'm just happy the numbers are going down. Even though its not as fast as I'd like on the scales I can definitely notice it in my clothes and have been wearing some that have been haunting my wardrobe for years!!

My trick has been to keep exercising and increasing the intensity as I find it get easier. So that means my walking is featuring lots of hills and squats, lunges, and tummy work when I get home. Food wise, I've cut out the crap and keep my portion sizes down, but I allow myself my faves (chips and choc) at least once a week. In terms of drinking my new rule is that I can only have a wine or two on the days that I exercise!

So all in all I am pretty pleased as I have quit ww (more on that in another post) and was a bit worried that I might go the other way! I just keep telling myself that I can't let myself do, that I deserve more than that and remind myself how sh**ty I felt - almost 15 kgs ago!! No way am I going back there!

It's good to be back beautiful people and I look forward to catching up with you all soon xxx

Tuesday Tumble

2011-03-29T06:04:00.001+10:00

Please read this post Falling Through The Cracks by the wonderfully brilliant, amazing and strong Kristin at Wanderlust.

This woman is in the middle of a terrible experience right now but she always manages to have a smile and has an amazing ability to think about how she can help others.

I hope by reading this, she perhaps helps you or someone you know, even if its to make us grateful for what we have!

Thank You Kristin and I hope your time in OZ gave you renewed energy to go on with the fight!!

On a Happier Note

2011-03-28T16:33:00.001+10:00

After my last couple of depressing blogs I though it was my duty to let you dutiful readers that not all is dark and gloomy in my world!

In fact, I have many exciting things going. Lots! Too many in fact to have any excuse for being a drinking disaster!

You will have seen my blog of a few weeks ago where I announced that me and the man are engaged and busy organizing a September wedding - yes dear readers September this year!

Around this time I started a great new job that I am loving. It's a contract until the end of June. I don't think it will go perm I'm just taking it for what it is!

Also in my last semester of uni so I really need to get my head down bum up as it's my last chance to get good marks. But god I hate group work!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

This Drinking Thing

2011-03-27T20:35:00.000+10:00

So I went to the party and had a few drinks, definitely didn't go overboard. But I don't feel good, I just want to sleep.

I read the comments - thanks ladies - to my last post and it got me to thinking....why don't I just stop. There are so many things that I want instead of a hangover and the boozer blues!

I want my man to be proud if me. I want to have quality time with him. I want to be healthy. I don't want a nasty alcohol related illness. I don't want to have to hang my head in shame. I don't want people to talk about my drinking problem. I don't want to lose days in a hangover haze.

Can I see myself saying no for good? Not yet! Can I see myself cutting back and managing it better. Most definitely. Do I want a clearer life. Yes.

I'm sure there will be many more posts on this topic as I work on changing my habits and work on not being such a lush!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Brisbane

I have a problem with alcohol

2011-03-27T14:27:00.001+10:00

I have a problem with alcohol.

For some reason I don't want to say I have an alcohol problem.

My problem is not that I need to drink everyday, or that I miss work or appointments because of it. I function completely normally (well as normally as I can). In fact I can go weeks without it and most of the time I can have one or two and be happy.

But sometimes I binge drink, in fact I think I bring new meaning to phrase.

Once I start I just can't stop. No-once can tell me that I have had enough - that just incites me to drink more. Its like I just get caught up in the fun of the night and the buzz that alcohol gives me and there feels something tragic about having an empty glass. I know that I drink way too fast!

On these occasions I drink till I pass out and normally spend the first few hours of the morning spewing and groaning and farting and generally being a horrible smelly mess. Once I recover I spend the rest of the day apologising to my man and feeling like a loser.

Its a problem because its happened two weeks in a row now. I have to go to a party now and I'm anxious about the alcohol there.

I don't feel that I need AA but I do feel that I need to examine the behaviour that occurs before I get in to such a state.

I feel like shit and that everyone can tell I have this horrible secret. It's embarassing and humiliating and I'm sick of ruining my time off.

Three Words!

2011-03-05T09:45:00.000+10:00

We are ENGAGED!!!!!

Everybody's Favourite Topic......Budgets

2011-03-04T18:46:00.000+10:00

I started a new job last week and with the now weekly pay packet (I'm contracting) I thought it would be a great time to put together a new household budget, plus we need to start some joint saving goals etc.

Most of our bills are fixed amounts but as you all probably know its the grocery spend that can throw things out. Some weeks we spend a hideous amount and some weeks we can hardly spend anything.

So here I am to pick your thoughts and see what you think is a reasonable amount for a DINKY (double income no kids yet) household to spend on groceries each week in suburban Australia.

This does not include eating out (that's a separate part of the budget)....and please bear in mind I'm not very good at the two minute noodle thing. I am thinking that $100 a week should see us through - our pantry is pretty well stocked!

Please share your thoughts...is $100 excessive or not enough? Also welcome are any penny saving ideas!!

Image borrowed from http://sundayafternoonhousewife.com/does-your-craft-business-have-a-budget/

Revisiting - It's as Easy as ABC

2011-02-24T08:04:00.000+10:00

I love this post, I originally wrote it in May 2010 and thought it was worth a revisit to remind me why I am undertaking this journey! Hope it gives you a laugh!

So here is my ABC on why I want to lose weight!

A - Andrea, I'm doing it for me!

B - Bikinis, a teeny weeny polka dot bikini

C -Chocolate, I'm not craving it anymore

D -Dreams, my life long dream has been to be slim

E - Exercise, gives me more Energy

F - F*ck Me Boots - that FIT

G -Guilt, so I can be rid of it

H -Happier, a happier me is a nicer me

I - Important - this is the most important thing I am ever going to do

J - Jeans, so my bum looks hot in them.

K - Kids, so I have and run after them easily

L - Love, because I love myself

M - Mirror, to love my reflection

N - Norks - so they are a bit more of a regular size

O - Orgasms, so I can have more of them **blush**

P - Paranoia, to lose the paranoia that I'm not going to fit into a seat or that I'm the fattest person in the room

Q - Quick Fix, none here this is a change for life

R - Relationships, so they all improve

S - Sexy Lingerie, lingerie is not sexy in a size 20!

T -Thighs, to lessen the battle they have with each other when I walk

U - Use, my head, my body and my heart together to get where I want to be

V - Vegies, bright, colourful, fresh, healthy - just like me!

W - Waist - so I can see it!

X - X-rated, this goes with O!

Y - Yesterday, behind me

Z- Zzzzzzz, better sleep and no more nanna naps

Chafing!!

2011-02-21T17:26:00.000+10:00

Suffered severe chafing due to the extremely hot weather yesterday! Though I did have a beautiful day with my friends and family!

Yet another reason to keep on this path and lose the weight forever....otherwise I may be investing in one of these....NOT!!

Changing My Beliefs

2011-02-19T10:54:00.000+10:00

As most of you know I recently went to a workshop run by my favourite motivational man Craig Harper.

It has taken me about a week to sit down and really start processing what spoke about and working out what it means to me.

Craig spoke about many thought provoking topics that were all linked to our desire to change and to have an exceptional life, which I will no doubt speak about here over the coming days and weeks.

What really rang true for me is how we create our reality based on our beliefs and references (experiences) and to change our beliefs we need to create new experiences and reference points - we need to reset our default settings.

I have spent the last week thinking particularly about this notion and how I can apply this to me. Well its all very well to say to someone to create new experiences, but what about the times in our past when we have already done some pretty exceptional things - I think recalling these events is a pretty powerful of shaping our self belief, but we often forget them or play them down!!

The first few things that come to my mind are - bungy jumping (I tell myself that I couldn't do it now - but I think I should!!!), moving from country-town Tasmania to live and work on a beautiful Whitsunday Island at 19, packing up my life and moving to the UK for two years! While I didn't know it at the time all of these experiences changed me in many ways, some huge some small - and I look back on these times with pride, but they meant getting out of my comfort zone - that's where the secret lies!

So as you know my current desire is to change the state of my health and my weight. They are only going change if I change my behaviour AND my beliefs. So instead of referring to my default settings I'm going to recall the times where I got uncomfortable, where I didn't give in to the nasty self talk, laziness or fear and I'm going to create myself some new experiences (sexy lingerie was a good starting point)! I'm going to stop letting my mind get in the way and do things that make my body feel great!!

Change Beliefs = Change Behaviour = Change Body!!

I want and I CAN BE smoking hot!! Look out, you might burn yourself!

Time For Me!

2011-02-10T17:20:00.001+10:00

I finished work last Friday...I can't face a new job just yet. After almost 5 years with this company and more ups and downs than a Las Vegas rollercoaster I have a lot of shit to get out of my head! One of my close workmates kept emailing and texting me shit that is going on...I had to let her know that for now I don't want to know. This time is for me!!

I've really been taking it easy - reading, weight watching, sleeping, spring cleaning etc. Ok the spring cleaning isn't taking it easy but gee it makes me feel good!

Tomorrow I have 4 hours at a day spa (christmas pressie from my man), on Saturday I'm going to that Craig Harper Seminar and on Sunday we are treating ourselves to a couple of nights at the Hyatt Sanctuary Cove!! I've even splashed out and bought my first ever sexy lingerie!! Can't wait to see his face!!

Weight loss update - 100g down this week!! Yip Yip! Going in the right direction!

Hello Success, Come On In.....

2011-02-03T20:00:00.001+10:00

Hello Success, come on in, stay a while - actually stay as long as you like!

Yes readers I had a win this week!! I lost 1.9 kilos this week taking my total to 13.3 kilos gone forever!!

What did I do right??

I planned my meals in advance.
I consumed no alcohol (antibiotics help with that!)
I didn't exercise but I did as much incidental exercise as I possibly could
I ate lots of fruit
I ate Icy Poles (1 pt)
I drank LOTS of water
I had two squares of chocolate and gave away the rest
I ordered a half serve of chips at the fish and chip shop rather than the stated minimum!!

No need to say it but I'm going to - I FEEL FANTASTIC!

Double figures here I come!!

Sick Puppy!!

2011-01-29T16:26:00.000+10:00

I have been a sick little puppy this week!

I've had a sore throat all week. When I woke up yesterday I couldn't talk without sounding like a Drag Queen!!

So I headed off to the Doc and discovered that I have tonsillitis. I didn't pick it myself as I weirdly don't have the ferocious fever that usually goes with it!

Anyway, except for the sexy voice I am well and truly on the mend. But just wanted to comment on the thoughts that seem to float in and out of my head when I am sick.

In addition to lots of work stuff, I always tend to think about how when I get better that I'm not going to take my health for granted. That when I'm better I'm going to exercise regularly, I'm going to eat better and I'm going to make sure I don't waste time not living life to the full!!

What sort of things go through your head when you're feeling under the weather?

Numbers

2011-01-26T12:11:00.000+10:00

from http://thedreamwell.wordpress.com/2008/11/28/numbers-in-dreams/

Numbers are on my mind A LOT lately, I'm attempting to get them out of my head and on to hear (well the not so good ones anyway!)

12.6 - the amount of weight in kilograms - I can't seem to make it past this number. In the last seven weeks I have lost and gained but keep coming back to this number - it just seems to be a real barrier.

7 - the number of working days left in my current job!!! yay!

2 - the number of nights we have shouted ourselves at Hyatt Sanctuary Cove - we need it!

4 - weeks of living comfortably before I REALLY need to find a new job!

16 - days until I attend the Stop F*cking Around Workshop - can't wait!!

Are you counting down to anything or what numbers are stuck in your head?

Growing Up 2

2011-01-23T14:54:00.000+10:00

Last night I was flicking through some blogs by Single Dad Laughing and I found this one about breaking your child.

I don't normally do this but I'm going to self indulge and share a story from my childhood which this post caused me to remember. And please believe me when i say I'm not allocating blame or wallowing in the past! I just want to share!

***Disclosure - my mum isn't a bad woman, in her own she is really lovely- she just doesn't know how to show it, this story isn't being told to pay her out but to demonstrate how easy it is to emotionally hurt a child and how it affects them in adulthood.***

One rainy day my mum took my younger brother and I to the local department store. I don't remember exactly how old I was but I think probably somewhere around 7 to 9. I got separated from my mum and my brother, for ages I looked for them and couldn't find them. On previous occasions I'd heard announcements about other lost kids over the PA so it made sense to me that I should get someone to do the same. The nice lady in the lingerie section did as I asked and I waited patiently for my mum to arrive, perhaps with a gentle scolding. The minutes ticked over and my mum didn't arrive. I started to blush with embarassment (which makes me think I was closer to 9) and wish harder and harder that she would come and get me. Then in the distance, in the make-up section I saw her and my brother. I think they were looking over to where I was standing, but I could tell in her body language that she wasn't coming to get me. So I slunk off to join them, the lingerie lady was busy with something else by then.

I don't know what made my heart sink more - the fact that she didn't come to get me or that no mention of the event was ever made. Most mum's would take their child in their arms, give them a big hug and call them a "silly thing" for wandering off...but no such thing for me. I think that day a little bit of my heart died. Those years were really tough - I was struggling with my dad leaving, being one of the only kid's at school whose parents were separated, I was made to join a new class at school and I just wanted my mum to tell me she loved me. Incidents such as this have made it hard for me to show affection now, to tell people I love them and to believe it when the man tells me he does. It also means I have to work twice hard to believe it when I tell myself I deserve a healthy, happy life - maybe that's why I self-sabotage!

I Am Gutted!

2011-01-16T15:56:00.000+10:00

I just found out that one of my favourite bloggers passed away yesterday! While I am shocked and stunned I can only imagine how devestated Lulu's friends and family are. My heart completely goes out to them.

Lulu I hope you know that touched many with your to the bone honesty, your humility and your fucking great attitude to life! I am really pissed off though that I'll have no more insightful comments and hilarious posts from you!

http://lulu-unperfectlife.blogspot.com/

I can't comprehend how fucked up the world is at the moment!

Weigh In Update!!

2011-01-15T18:07:00.000+10:00

Well first week back on the plan was a f*ck up and I gained .7, making my weight loss result for the last fortnight a gain of a fabulous 1 kilo! I know you can tell how pleased I am.

Wanna know what happened? Pure and simple - I let my emotions take over! I sat on my ass this week and watched the horrific events in Brisbane unfold and ate and drank like a boy!! Yep - beer, biscuits, bread and chips. You name it - if it was a comfort food I ate it!!

So this week am laying off the booze, I'm gonna volunteer - ie get my body moving and I'm going to track everything!!

My thought for this week - I am not limited by who I am, but who I think I am not!! Pretty powerful hey?

I am woman hear me roar!!

Brisbane - It's Going to Hurt Today!!

2011-01-12T07:37:00.000+10:00

My town is going to hurt today. My state is already hurting!

Its just so sad and devestating!! People have already lost their lives and dozens are missing!

If you can help - please go here here!

I'm So Excited...and I Just Can't Hide It!!

2011-01-08T12:36:00.000+10:00

Happy Weekend Everyone!

I just wanted to share a few things that I have done over the last few days that have given me a real buzz!

1. I've booked in for a workshop run by my favourite motivational website host Craig Harper called "Stop F*cking Around" , its on the 12th of Feb which is ideal timing for me as I'm finishing work at the end of Jan!! Fellow Queenslanders if you want to go the early bird special ends today so get in quick!!

2. I've started running again, well interval training using Podrunner Intervals so I can work my way up to 5kms. Even though I hadn't reached the weight loss goal that I had in mind I bought a new pair of shoes anyway - I deserve them and they are awesome (just like me!!) I hope you like them!

3. I've started telling people at work (the ones who I don't want to hear it on the grapevine) that I am leaving, while I do have moments of serious self-doubt, being able to verbalise the reasons why is so amzingly powerful. Of course I have talked to my man and friends about it but its really only those people who experience the same frustrations that can fully understand and reinforce that I am doing the right thing!

4. I only gained 300g over the holiday period!! Stoked!!

5. I managed to get some washing dry!!

So I figure that as I get my health and weight heading in the right direction, my confidence and energy are going to soar and with the help of the workshop I believe that 2011 is going to be the start of an amazing and awesome life for me!!!

Who wants to come for the ride??

Happy New Year Update!!

2011-01-04T13:09:00.000+10:00

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a great New year whether you decided to get smashed or to see it in gently! Me - I saw it in gently, I was sick on Thursday and couldn't face doing anything too much on NYE so we took a drive to Kingscliffe, had a swim, an early dinner and went home. In bed by 10pm and I felt all the better for it on New Year's Day!

So, with the fresh start of a new year in mind, we've had a few big relationship talks over the weekend and agreed that we have quite a few things to work on. Notice the 'we' here - I'm not perfect either and have some things to work on too. He's put a proposal on the agenda and I pretty much said don't even bother if nothing's going to change and I can see he is making some steps to do so already! The big thing I need to work on is binge drinking - I don't do it often but it ain't good when I do.

As for work, I resigned today! I have been tossing and turning this decision over for the last few months and have taken the plunge. It was a bit of an anti-climax as my managers are all away until next week! But I feel excited that I have an end date in sight and can start looking for contract work as well as permanent roles. I really feel that I had to be brave and make a change then my energy will start working in that direction - know what I mean?

I am really determined to set myself up in a new career this year, improve my realstionships and keep up the great work in improving my health!

PS - Thank you for all the kind words and support last week, it really made a difference and gave me good food for thought xx

Unseasonally Depressed!

2010-12-29T13:15:00.001+10:00

I don't know what's going on with me over the last few days but I feel so depressed. I get like this every few months or so and I tend to really centre on questioning my relationship and whether I should still be in it or not. I get to this stage where I am really miserable in it and I feel that I can't communicate it to him because I said all this stuff the last time it happened and nothing has changed. Please forgive me, readers, for sounding like a mega bitch but if I can't get it off my chest here, well heck, where can I?

Number 1 - Sex - so we haven't had sex in a week and a half mainly because when I've been in the mood its not appropriate or I haven't been in the mood. I haven't been in the mood since Friday, mainly because all day and night he was hanging shit on me and being a patronising git. I also haven't been enjoying it, I can't remember the last time I had an orgasm that I didn't give myself (I can't remember that either).

I'm over doing it out of wifely duty and when I told him this he said "well you should have told me" and expected me to drop my pants then and there. Now the guilt trips are coming thick and fast which makes my knees stick like glue.

Number 2 - Health - He doesn't take care of himself and this is a biggie for me, who's trying to do the best I can in this area. I don't care that he's not perfect but come on make some effort to improve the health issues that you have! It really makes me question if I want to breed with this man! And to be honest the thought of having his big belly on top of me or on my back does not make me want to rip his clothes off!! Don't even get me started on how often he brushes his teeth.

Number 3 - Socialising. We went to my cousin's for a BBQ yesterday and while the men were outside he sat next to me inside with all the wives and kids, talking to me only while I was trying to listen to the girly conversation. He even waited outside while I went to the loo and turned into Mr HaveaChat when we got in the car. I'm mortified to think what everyone was saying when we left!

So what is a girl to do! I think he might have mild depression or anxiety but trying to get him to a doctor will be a massive effort and I really don't know if I can be bothered to put it in. Someone once told me that men only make a change when something big happens and as for myself I keep thinking of that old saying...if you don't like something then change!!

So does that mean I move out? Do we call it a day? My flat is rented out until June, which means I'd have to rent something else until then (and I probably won't be able to have the cats which breaks my heart!). What do I do to make him get it?

PS - I do love him and I don't want to hurt him. But this isn't the life that I want to lead and I don't think I'm strong enough to make the call.

Wacky Wednesday - Thought for the Day

2010-12-22T13:31:00.000+10:00

First we had Wikileaks, now we have Dikileaks!!

For my non-aussie readers scandal details here!

Whether the young lady in question is right or wrong, I hope someone has her back - she's in for a rocky ride!

Enjoy your day xx

I'm Still Here!!!!

2010-12-18T18:05:00.000+10:00

Hi all, yes I've been MIA for a couple of weeks, but its ok I'm still here and best of all I'm still losing!!

I haven't tracked, I've pigged out, I've drank heaps of beer, wine and cocktails, I've only deliberately exercised twice and I skipped weigh in last week.

Would you believe that I lost .5kg at weigh in today? I don't quite believe it myself!

Hope I can keep it up!! Somehow I don't think the above eating and exercise plan will let me :-)

Off to get myself back on track now!

The Longest Journey in WW History

2010-12-04T09:20:00.001+10:00

Sometimes, especially on days like today, I feel like my weight loss journey must be the longest in weight watchers history! It has taken me since February 2010 to lose 12.1 kilos! i can't help but think that I should be down at least 20 kilos more than this.

Yeah you guessed it - I gained again! A kilo this time.

I know that I didn't exercise enough - that was weather driven, but I need to get over that and find some alternatives! I know that I drank too much alcohol and ate too much crap, actually I ate too much in general.

Sometimes I think that I don't take this commitment to myself seriously enough, that I get too caught up in a moment or evening and stop thinking about what is going into my mouth.

Don't get me wrong I'm not down on myself, I'm still pretty proud of what I have achieved thus far and I do feel good.

I need to refocus again - set some new goals - health and otherwise. I need some encouragement and most of all I just need to get back to basics. Write my menu plan in advance each week, keep up the running and kick this 15 kilo goal in the butt!!

But most of all I have to keep believing that I am bloody well worth it!!

Image from - http://www.freeimages.co.uk/galleries/backdrops/moods_emotions/slides/long_road_journeyP1011607.htm

I've Been Tagged!

2010-11-30T06:05:00.000+10:00

I woke up to a beautiful morning and thought I'd catch up on some blogging. Catherine at Transformational Diaries tagged me last week and here are my responses to her questions:

1. What would you say to someone just starting out on a weight loss journey?

Be kind to yourself, take baby steps and stick with it - be committed and persistent and emotionally ready for it.

2. What is your passion? The thing that you absolutely love doing, that is not necessarily, but can be, related to your job or role in a family?

Travel - I love travelling, not just the new people and places but the fact that you can leave home at home and people take you for who you are at that moment - not what you do, how much money you make, but who you 'really' are.

3. If money and time (or any other obstacles) were not an issue, how would you spend a week (or even a weekend) that you had to yourself (and who would you spend it with, if anyone)?

Eating at good restaurants, drinking good wine, lazing by a pool or enjoying a day spa - Golden Door is a fave! I would take David Beckham for the perve factor, my friends Mel and Karie, Dea and Lou because they make me laugh, and my boy because I'd feel bad for leaving him at home ;-)
4. What has been your most satisfying moment so far on this journey?

Loving exercise and realising that while I may not have lost weight as quickly as others, I have stuck with it. If I hadn't I would probably be much heavier than I was when I started, unhappy and struggling with everything.

Now it’s time to pass this on ….. here are the questions:

1. What would you say to someone just starting out on a weight loss journey?

2. What is your passion? The thing that you absolutely love doing, that is not necessarily, but can be, related to your job or role in a family?

3. If money and time (or any other obstacles) were not an issue, how would you spend a week (or even a weekend) that you had to yourself (and who would you spend it with, if anyone)?

4. What has been your most satisfying moment so far on this journey?

I pose these questions to the following beautiful bloggers:

The Fat Lady at BM-I don't care

CJ at Weigh too Less

Danielle at The Panda Bum
My darling friend Lou over at Expressing Lou

Have fun with this and don't feel any pressure to do it. Any other people reading this, feel free to answer in the comments section or put a post on your blog and link back.

Happy Tuesday xxxx

I Did It!!

2010-11-25T10:06:00.000+10:00

I did IT!!

I got up this morning (obviously) and hit the pavement with my venture into the land jogging...I don't lift my feet enough to call it a run!

I had a later start at work this morning due to an appointment which helped as I really would have procrastinated had I had to get up at 5.15am.

Yes it hurt, yes I struggled but I just keep powering on and before I knew it was over. Yes my bum jiggled and got a weird, tingling feeling!! Maybe coz the blood was pumping through all my layers of lusciousness

And right now I feel amazing!

I feel proud of the fact that I DID IT! And of course the endorphins are flowing through me!! AND a friend just sms'd me to tell me she saw me walking to the office and that I looked awesome!!

Going to weigh in tonight, I kind of swing between Thursday's and Saturday's, but am feeling confident I will get a good result despite only having 5 days in between.

I Want to Run - Update!!

2010-11-24T08:25:00.000+10:00

Following the advice and encouragement that I received yesterday, I have downloaded PodRunner Intervals and am planning on starting the First Day to 5K course tomorrow (I'm a bit stiff this morning from squats and lunges yesterday and basically wanted a sleep in).

I am worried about shoes because I do over-pronate and this cause excruiating shin splints, but I figure I will give Week 1 a go in the morning and weigh-in tomorrow night. Who knows I might actually achieve that 15 kilo goal - well I will at leasdt be a step closer to it.

I'm also apprehensive because I can't remember doing serious running on a foot path ever, treadmills give you that little bit of bounce - but the catch is it actually means you don't work as hard. We have a cricket ground fairly close by, I think I'll head there and get used to doing it on grass first.

Any other advice greatly welcome!

I Want To Run!

2010-11-23T10:29:00.000+10:00

I want to Run!

I can feel that my fitness has improved and simply walking, while I do feel good I don't get that "buzz" anymore. My body has become used to it.

I want to Run!

But I keep coming up with excuses.

My sneakers are old and badly need replacing but I have promised myself new sneakers as my reward for losing 15 kigs (when I get there). At the moment that milestone is alluding me!

I actually don't think it would be safe to run in my sneakers in their current state - at least not on the foot path anyway, they would be ok on a treadmill but I don't have one nor do I have a gym membership (anymore).

I stayed the same at weigh in this week - so I have 2.4 kgs to be rid of before 15 are gone forever.

I think I'll keep walking for now, keep eating well and see what the scales say later in the week!

I want to RUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!

A Little Setback!

2010-11-15T12:59:00.001+10:00

I gained .7 at last weeks weigh in and here's why:

1. Too much alcohol the night before - after 2 weeks of abstaining I let loose (a bit) but far out it was fun!
2. Not enough water
3. Not enough exercising - though I did get in 4 days worth
4. Lack of portion control
5. An balancing out of the big loss I had the week before

No drama, I'm not stressed about it. I feel good and like myself!

I'm just going to keep on trucking!!

Smiling from Ear to Ear!!!

2010-11-06T11:43:00.001+10:00

Today I'm smiling from ear to ear...because if you haven't noticed my little weight loss ticker is on the move again!! (I refuse to let her go backards)

Yes I had a successful week and the loss on the scales today was 2.4 kilos!

That means I burnt the 1.6 kilos that I gained over the previous three weeks plus an extra 500 grams!

I'm only 1.7 kilos away from my next milestone - 15 kilos, reward = new sneakers (in preparation for jogging) and 3.5 kilos away from double digits (I'm definitely going to be there for Christmas!!)

WW are rolling out a change to the points plan over the next couple of weeks which I'm really excited about, I reckon it will boost my motivation just that little bit more - I have a basic idea of what its going to be about, but can't wait to learn the nitty gritty!!

Onwards and Downwards I say!

Hope you are all having a great weekend, I'm studying for an exam today and then plan on having lovely day with my beautiful man and family tomorrow full of bbq's, swimming and generally having fun xxx

Singing My Own Praises!

2010-11-04T12:21:00.002+10:00

I have been so good this week!

I have crawled out of bed at 5.15-5.30am and taken myself on a 30-40 minutes four times already this week! My mission is 6 mornings!

I feel fantastic! And my eneregy seems to last all day!

My eating hasn't been too shabby either....AND not a drop of alcohol! (the pic is from a party a couple of years ago - can you believe there were 3 other ladies wearing the same dress as me tres embarassing!)

Come on weight loss gods you have to shine on me this week ;-)

PS - Come on guys help Lucy get 50 links on her wonderful Fat to Fit Blog hop!!

Running Your Own Race!

2010-11-03T12:29:00.000+10:00

You must be hiding under a rock if you didn't realise that the Melbourne Cup was run yesterday.

All this focus on which horse would win got me to thinking about the weight loss race.

I know a lot of you will jump in and say "Andrea., its not a race, it takes how ever long it takes" or something along those and I TOTALLY agree.

I use the 'race' metaphor as I have made a couple of observations in, both, my own behaviour and that of others while on this journey.

1. There is a tendency for people to lose weight for an occasion eg a wedding, holiday etc.
2. There is a tendency for people to want to lose weight as quickly as everyone else (I am terribly guilty of this one and am hard on myself for only losing 10.9 kgs in 30-something weeks of ww while other people have lost 20 and 30 kgs plus).

I started thinking about horses and horse racing and why they wear blinkers (yeah, I know its a little bit of a jump)?? So I looked it up and wikianswers told me that:

Horses wear blinkers because if something suddenly appears in there field of vision, their first response is to flee. When you are riding or using a horse for transportation in a public or otherwise noisy and distraction place, these are very useful, to keep your horse calm.

Well, my first response when something suddenly appears on my radar is to eat!

Wouldn't it be great, if we could have some sort of blinkers to keep us focused and on track? Let alone a jockey on our back telling us to go faster!! Hang on a minute...I am carrying a jockey around - well at least the weight one!!

Hope you all had a great day and don't mind my babble too much!!

Ten Things I Hate About Being Fat!

2010-10-31T08:29:00.002+10:00

1. Not being able to slide through tight spaces in a crowded restaurant.

2. Shopping with regular sized girlfriends (I don't want to take them to the fat girl shops).

3. Thighs rubbing together.

4. Feeling guilty for having a treat (you know the looks we get!)

5. Stupid comments from bogans in cars while exercising (At least I'm doing something about it - losers!)

6. The fact that nothing looks sexy in a size 22 (the more lace the worse it looks!)

7. Feeling that I never really fit in/being an outsider

8. Worrying that I am going to be able to fit in a seat (I try to sit next to skinny people on the bus, no way two fatties can sit comfortably on those seats!)

9. Feeling that my success as a person is measured first by my weight.

10. Feeling like a failure when I hear of people losing weight faster than me!

What do you hate about being fat??

Weigh In Update

2010-10-30T12:35:00.000+10:00

Well I gained .1 today.

I have to say I'm a teeny bit disppointed but not at all surprised. I knew that it was going to be tough to get a loss this week as there was probably some residual gain from my holiday eating.

For the most part I did work hard to stay on track but had an over indulge last night at a new Greek restaurant we have discovered and it wasn't so much the food but the alcohol that I had with it.

For those Brisbanites or people visiting and looking for a cheap, healthy option check out Little Greek Taverna at West End. My favorite was the Greek salad, but it is all excellent!!

I really want to get back on my losing streak so this week I am going to concentrate on:

1. Sticking to points and I'm actually going to aim points under my allowance!
2. Walk every morning - any evening exercise is a bonus
3. Restarting my Think Slim transformational keys

I hope everyone else has a successful week and I look forward to reporting a loss next week!

PPS - the photo is from our NZ trip - I just really like it x

Quick Update

2010-10-24T08:49:00.002+10:00

Hi Everyone,

Well we had a great but exhausting time in NZ and am so glad we gave ourselves a couple of days to chill before going back to jail...whoops I mean work!

Weight wise I ave gained 1.5 kgs. Not just in the week away but the week before hand.

Am definitely in the right mindset to move on from it though and was going to attending a Seminar today about goal setting and dreaming big by Mark Stephens who wrote Think Slim but I have a sick cat who needs to go to the vet - so for now will have to get started on my own!

That interview I mentioned didn't pan out as they changed the criteria of what they were looking for. But this week I am back into the job hunt big time.

Got to run but here's a piccie to from our trip! This is the view from the pub at Kaikoura where we stopped for lunch!

I had a holiday!!

2010-10-22T15:41:00.000+10:00

I had a holiday!!

But now I am back!

Ready to get on track!

While I was in NZ

My healthy eating plan was dead!

I can do this, I know that I have the knack!!

Hi Everyone,

Just a quick post today to let you now I am back from holiday. We had a great time and am not looking forward to work on Monday. i will ctach up on everyone's posts and pop up some pics over the weekend.

Cheers,
Andrea ;-)

Putting It Out There!

2010-10-07T19:38:00.002+10:00

After my last post I came to the realisation that I currently need to focus on one thing at a time and decided that that one thing at the moment, should be uni because I have a few assignments due in the next few weeks and a trip to New Zealand in the middle of it.

I had applied for a few roles last week (Communication and PR) and with one I took a chance and wrote a fantastically creative cover letter.

Low and behold I received a phone call today inviting me to an interview for that very role on Monday!!

I am stoked!

I am shitting myself!!

But you know what most of all I'm proud! I'm proud of putting myself out there, of getting the ball rolling and the energy happening!!

And things are happening!!

On my walk after work today I saw a slightly weird looking couple, its a crazy neighborhood where I walk (Valley for you Brisbanites) but I smiled at them anyway. The man called me over, I thought to ask directions..but this is what he said...

"You look like a really great girl, you look someone who is going to make things happening and you should go hard!!"

I was stunned, but I said Thanks and told him he'd really made my day!!

Some people may think he's crazy (he certainly looked it), but I think.....

What if he's right???

Reply to "Is This a Plateau of Sorts" by Diminishing Deb

2010-10-03T09:26:00.000+10:00

I've just read Is This a Plateau of Sorts?? by Diminishing Deb.

She calls on me and a couple of other weight loss bloggers to shake ourselves out of it.

I definitely want to shake myself out of it, but not today. I feel a bit out of sorts today I just want to sleep, its raining, I have a headache and well it'd just be nice to hide from the world today. But I'm not - I have a uni paper to write and I have a meal plan to stick to. But hang on maybe if I just start refocusing, it'll happen and I'll feel better.

After all - the hard part is done - I'm out of bed (and dressed!)

A few things have arisen that have bumped me off path this last week or so. One is the weather - but I can overcome that by getting myself some exercise dvd's - though I'm worried that too much thumping around on the floor might cause things to go flying!

Two is the fact that lovely boyfriend is now working more social hours - so good we get to see each other more - but we've slipped back into that trap of "couple eating" - you know the one - a block of chocolate here, a few drinks there, I don't feel like salad let's have hot dogs! But I can fix this too! Hey, I've already written our menu plan and we've already bought the food! All we need to do is stick to it!

Three, I've got lots going on - uni end of semester work, work is a soap opera at the moment, holidays, job applications, losing weight, catching up with friends, housework..you know how it goes.

Four is a little bit harder to fix, for some reason and maybe it goes hand in hand with one, two and three, my previously invincible self belief has wavered. I've lost a little of my confidence. I swing between being totally sure of myself and totally frightened being stuck and not reaching my full potential.

As I write this I feel silly, I don't think its an age thing, I'm not even sure it's a weight thing - because slim people have bouts of self doubt too, it's a me thing. Maybe I have to write my goals down and put them where I will read them every day ( the loo!). Maybe I just have to remind myself that it would be sillier not to make any changes (or at least try), I'm sure there's a famous quote about not changing something if you're unhappy with it is being crazy (I can't remember ir right now).

Its funny how things happen - as I was looking for a pic to go with this post I found this great blog by Connie V: This Way To Joy - it seems like it was written just for me right now!! And yes I did borrow the piccie above from her

I am not perfect!

2010-10-02T12:58:00.001+10:00

After my inspirational posts of a couple of weeks ago...I have a confession to make!

I'm not perfect!

So much so that over the last fortnight I gained 1.2 kilos...although my weigher actually recorded it as 1.4 - I double checked and she just added up wrong ;-( I don't like mistakes!!

Anyway, you will be glad to know that I haven't beaten myself up about it. I know where I've gone wrong - booze (I've just discovered the joy of port and chocolate), not tracking, eating a little bit too much of the wrong things AND I've forgotten to do my Think Slim mantras

But I've had fun and I'm getting fitter!!

I'll say it again, for me getting the head part right is the biggest battle! And the fact that I am fairly chilled about this gain is a sign that I'm starting to win that battle!

Workwise things are on a bit of a roller-coaster, my boss resigned yesterday and isn't coming back. My other boss is leaving in December and I have a feeling the rest don't know what to do with me...its complicated to explain. I'm trying to not spend too much energy gossiping (though I do love it) and put it into my job hunt. I'm putting vibes out there for a redundancy, for me that's the ideal scenario - a payout and I get to leave, I'd just do some temp work until I score that dream job in PR/Communications! Fingers crossed!

Hope all my blog friends are happy and healthy! I'll catch up on your blogs as soon as I get this uni work under control.

Love,
Andrea

Everybody's Talkin' bout it!

2010-09-26T09:09:00.001+10:00

The draw in yesterday's AFL Grand Final (Australian Rules Football - for my international readers) and the impending re-match next weekend.

For the purposes of disclosure I must inform you that I am a (dare I say it) Collingwood supporter (we're the ones everybody loves to hate).

Everyone is talking about how disappointing it was that niether team walked away with a win or a loss and that the League needs to change the rules and so on.

I can't help but think that yesterday's result is a fantastic example of damn good ball playing, two teams of equal strength and ability played so well that a clear result couldn't be determined. the re-match rule might be a bit iffy, but geez what a superb game it was to watch!

I think the disappointment lays in the fact that people just don't know how to react and feel in this situation, there is no guidance...from a young age we are taught that's its all about winning or losing - that is despite all the cliche's that indicate the opposite. Let's be honest no-one wants to feel that losing feeling, we want to feel that winning feeling.

But what about the feeling that comes when you know that you (or your team) have done your/their absolute best on the day! That sense of pride of knowing that you were completely physically and mentally prepared, that there was nothing else you could do!

I think all of those men involved in yesterday's game should be extremely proud of themselves and embrace the chance to try-again! How often in life do we get the chance to re-match, to correct our mistakes, to prepare just that little bit more? How often do we get to take the taste of disappointment and turn it into something sweet!! What about looking forward to the feeling that the winner will feel next week, knowing they have hard to work twice as hard for the glory!!

What do you wish you could do over, given the chance?

Love Andrea xx

I Ate Cake

2010-09-20T20:51:00.000+10:00

I Ate Cake!

It Gave Me a Tummy Ache!

It was so Soft and Creamy!

Altogether Dreamy!

And Now My Butt I Have to Shake!!

What's Working For Me

2010-09-19T09:25:00.000+10:00

I don't to sound all pompous and wanky, I've been asked a couple of times now 'What's working for me?'

If you've been following me for a while you will know this path has been uphill, extremely rocky and even felt like I'm climbing up a sheer cliff face from time to time. I've lost, I've gained, I've stayed the f****ing same!

But something has switched lately, two weeks in a row I have cut over a kilo and I finally feel that I am winning the mental battle (though I did manage to polish off a whole bottle of wine last night - woops!!)

Lots of people kept telling me that just do the food and exercise and the mind would follow, but that's not how I operate. I'm a Gemini for god's sake...my head has to be in it or the rest of me is just - well NOT!

What has worked for me is reading the book 'Think Slim' by Mark Stephens and in particular using the transformational keys - which are basically a series of nuero linguistic programming exercises.

Its weird I don't feel like I've changed, but my thinking definitely has. My priority is to drink at least 2 litres of water every day - and I do it with no worries now, I really question my hunger and make sure as much as possible only nutritious food goes in. Don't get me wrong the junk food still calls, but I can control it now. For instance, on Friday night I made myself a hot chocolate and got out a couple of chocolate biscuits - it was a treat for having such a great week, I had the hot choc (skim milk of course) but you know what? I ended up putting one biscuit back - I realised that one was enough!

But beyond, eating and exercising my mind has made a shift in all the other areas of my life. I am speaking up for myself more at work, my relationship has moved to a more connected, more loving level and my family relationships are improving too. The housework is getting done, as is the ironing and I just don't feel stressed.

I caught up with some friends last night and mentioned that I'm looking for a new job in Communications and they were so great. One writes fabulous selection criteria so is going to help me there, another works in HR within a Government Dept so is going to send me some tips and details of a couple of jobs that she thought I could throw my hat in the ring.

I'm still taking one step at a time and one meal at a time, but I'm definitely moving in a new direction. I am grateful to Lucy who hosted the giveaway where I won Think Slim, I grateful for Mark Stephens who wrote Think Slim and I am grateful for having the opportunity to change my life!

Eye of the Tiger!

2010-09-17T20:26:00.000+10:00

I feel like Rocky tonight!

Because tonight I fought some major demons.

You know the ones...

Like the one that tell you not to go for a walk, to go straight home and worry about it tomorrow! The other one was trying to tell me not to worry about cooking dinner tonight, it's Friday, you're supposed to have takeaway!

BACK OFF!!

I said and went for one of my best ever walks....oh and by the way, slipped a wee bit of running too!

BACK OFF!!

I said again and cooked up chicken and vegies instead of piling up on fish and chips.

At the shops another Demon tried it on..."mmmm should get some chocolate for dessert its 3 bars for $5 - cheap as". You know what....I walked away with my chicken and cat food and had the loveliest dinner, I feel deliciously sleepy from my run/walk and rather chuffed with myself and the decision I made tonight!!

I'm just a girl and her will to survive!!

On a Roll...but not a Chiko Roll!!!

2010-09-16T21:33:00.002+10:00

By gosh, I think I'm getting it!

I'm finally starting to get this weight loss lark!

This week I am down another 1.6 kilos. Taking me to a total of 12.7 that has gone so far!!

I received my 10% award today too. And I just realised that I'm 25% to goal!!

But the best rewards are:

1. I am really starting to like myself
2. I am feeling more confident
3. My skin is glowing
4. I am sleeping better
5. I am getting more done
6. I am happier
7. My thinking is more positive
8. I can sit cross legged on the floor
9. My libido is coming back
10. Realising that I AM worth it!

Thank you again my online cheer squad!!

WOW! What a weekend!

2010-09-12T18:48:00.000+10:00

I have had a massive, but great weekend!

Friday night we drove to the sunny coast and had dinner with my brother who lives os and was visiting, then hang out with the olds for a bit, drove home at midnight and had to be up early for a hair appointment....and its looking great!

Houseworked because my lovely mother in law came to stay as she is flying out to Europe for 5 weeks tonight! We stayed up drinking wine and solving the problems of the world.

Today, today was the best. I went clothes shopping - I have to look spiffy for these job interviews that I'm going to land!! I bought 2 skirts, 5 tops, 1 pair of dress shorts and 1 pair of gorgeous heels for less than $250 AND the best part is - I've gone down a size in everything - EVEN THE SHOES!!!

AAAAANNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD

I came home and did a fashion parade, pulled out a suit that I haven't worn in over 5 years and guess what - IT FITS!!! I am sooooo excited I feel like I've got a whole new wardrobe!!

I am so going to land myself a fantastic job because not only am I going to look amaaaazzzzing, I just wrote the best cover letter ever and my resume is looking sen-SA-tional - who wouldn't want to hire me!

PS - have been so busy, food has hardly crossed my mind!! Is this the beginning of the new me! Damn right it is!!

PPS - I think my boy is going to get some tonight }:-)

RESULT!

2010-09-09T20:24:00.001+10:00

1.1 kgs GOOOOOONE this week!

Lucy - Think Slim is working! Not the download but the Transformational Keys!!

Will do a proper update over the weekend!

Big love to all xxx

I Feel Better Now!

2010-09-04T18:41:00.000+10:00

Hi everyone, I worked out why I was so goddamn tired today - I was majorly dehydrated!!! I had a stinking headache for the last few days and this morning 1 little sip of water would turn into a litre in the toilet! Not good!

Anyway I got myself sorted out and with the water came the energy and brain power!

Have a look at this great website Yarra Water for lots of great info about Dehydration!

Weigh in today and I lost .6, so well on the way to recovering from my nasty gain last week. Have to admit I am a bit surprised as we an impromptu piss up which was followed by the most delicious chicken burger from Hungry Jacks! I just hope the loss wasn't the result of my dehydration!

Tired!!!

2010-09-04T11:47:00.000+10:00

Why is it so hard to be motivated, happy and fun when you're tired?

I want to eat half a loaf of bread with jam and slip back into bed!

Mmmmmm....might just do that - no-one will know (not the bread bit though, just the sleep bit)

I need a little rest xx

Friday Foughts (Thoughts)!!

2010-09-03T08:04:00.001+10:00

I really like this guy...Craig Harper!! I don't often comment on his blogs but I always read them and goddammit he always makes sense.

Have a read of his post today...Craig Harper....I have fallen into this trap a few times, couldn't exercise without my ipod, fancy food and supplements etc, but now I just try to keep it simple. I get my protein from natural sources, I walk and move as much as I can and I've cancelled my dusty gym membership.

I like him because he's an Aussie and he speaks with that Aussie no bullshit approach. I think he genuinely cares about improving the lives of others.

I'm not big into seminars and alike, but I am keen to do one of his if he comes to Bris Vegas!

Have a read and let me know what you think about getting back to basics!

100 Posts and it's a Blog Hop!!

2010-09-02T12:56:00.002+10:00

I Love Blogging!

I just really do!

I love having a little creative input to the world and being able to share myself with world, albeit shielded by my trust computer screen.

Blogging has been a HUGE help to me in staying focused, getting advice, feeling the love and stabilising the roller coaster that is my journey to a slimmer, healthier and more fantastic life!

It blows my mind that I followers from all over the world and these people care about what's going on with little old me!

I love reading the blogs that I follow and hope that my comments make someone's day a bit brighter, their journey easier to bear.

So thank you to everyone that has encouraged me with their comments and who has shared a part of their life with me!

Love Andrea

PS Below is a link to a Blog Hop run by Diminishing Lucy - one of the first blogs I started following! I think she is awesome xx

I Feel Scared!

2010-08-31T09:03:00.000+10:00

I feel scared today! I don't know like something bad's going to happen and I'm hoping that by writing about a few things that scare me will get that feeling to go away.

What scares me:

1. Noises in the night - lovely boyfriend works nights so I am home alone with the cats a lot and as I'm dozing off to sleep every creak sounds like someone trying to get into the house.

2. Changing careers - I really want a career change, I've nearly finished my Communications Degree and want to get into Internal Communication and/or Community Engagement and am not sure how! (I forgot to mention that I work in recruitment now - so you'd think I'd know!)

3. Being Successful - because I don't know how to be. Especially at this weight loss thing - I've been fat for so long I have know idea how a slim person acts and thinks.

4. Losing myself - I used to be so outgoing, fun and interesting and now I think I'm boring. But when I think to back to when I thought I was fun and interesting that was when I was mainly drunk and abusing myself!

Whew - bit deep xx

Focus is NOT a Four Letter Word!

2010-08-30T19:43:00.001+10:00

I have chosen five things to focus on health wise this week:

1. Staying withing my points allowance

2. Not drinking alcohol

3. Exercising 3 - 4 times this week

4. Listening to Think Slim and reporting in at the end of the week

5. Replacing black tea with green tea - not green tea kit-kats

WTF???

Help Needed - Musically Challenged!

2010-08-29T09:00:00.000+10:00

Happy Sunday Everyone! What a fantastic day it is - Spring is definitely just around the corner!

I spent last night completely revamping my iTunes library (due to a wine mishap with my old laptop I lost everything) and have downloaded my usual favourites.

Now I need your help and assistance in finding more music to motivate me while exercising!

So do tell... What gets you into the groove? Cheesey pop, rock, eighties classic's?

Gutted

2010-08-27T20:40:00.000+10:00

The scales said I gained 1.4 kgs this week!

Needless to say I.AM.GUTTED!

I tracked and I walked over 25 kms this week!

BAD WEEK!

All day today I was on the edge of tipping over and eating everything and anything that I could lay my hands on. But I didn't!

It's a new week! It's going to be a GREAT week!!

Sleepy Surbuban Sunday - Not!!! My brush with the Law!!

2010-08-22T15:37:00.000+10:00

Do I have an exciting (non weight-loss) story for you today!!

It was just after 8, I'd fed the cats and made myself a cuppa and a bit of toast and I was sitting on the lounge, with my feet in slippers on the coffee table, morning sun streaming into the lounge room while I was trying to ascertain if we have a new PM or not.

I look outside to see what the fur-babies are up to and low and behold I see a police car parked out the front of my neighbour's house and a policeman is knocking on her door. My first thought is that I hope everything is ok and she's not getting one of those horrible death knocks. I soon figure out it's not as the policeman is looking at a policewoman who's doing the same thing on our side of the street. The neighbour (who's house I can see isn't home) and the policeman starts to leave...I have to admit at this stage I'm a bit panicky because I look like shit, I'm in my mis-matching pj's, my eyes are puffy and there is glitter all over my face from last night's party, I mean I could go and get sorted but that might mean missing some of the action!

Time passes and there was no knock for my front, but can I tell you the curiosity was killing me - especially when two new police cars drove pass - 3 police cars in 10 minutes - something serious is happening!!!

I should point out that I live smack bang in the middle of working class surburbia, its a lovely, quiet area mixed with young familes, older families and empty nesters - we all talk and keep an eye out for each other, borrow an iron, help unload furniture, share our recycling bins and gardening tips that type of community thing, there's never much noise after 8pm or before 7.....so there really was a drama going down!!

It seemed that I wasn't going to find out what was happening in a hurry so I went about my day, house working and getting the day's meals organised. I started to hang some washing on the line when.... (I swear I felt like an extra in Blue Heelers)....a policeman and his police dog came over my back fence (its about waist height) and into my yard!!! Ooooh how exciting! I said "Is everything alright?" and he said "We're looking for a guy that's wanted by the police, has anyone been through here lately?" ...."Not that I know of I said" as he raced off.

I then started chatting to one the neighbours who backs onto us. He told me that a couple of doors up from him (which corners onto our place) there were a stack of police and detectives there, I know a bunch of young guys live there, they have a few parties, but they have never bothered me much! Lovely boyfriend reckons its drugs (of course) and told me off for just letting the policeman in (apparently he was supposed to ask) - I was just disappointed that it wasn't Josh or Lawson (from Rush) but at least I was dressed this time!!

Danger Danger High Voltage!

2010-08-21T10:44:00.004+10:00

I woke up to a beautiful sunny BrisVegas morning and decided I go for a walk around the block...my usual route takes about 30 minutes normally so I tacked on what I thought would be another 20 minutes.

About ten minutes in I started suffering excrutiating shin splints but I was determined to keep going and walk for an hour (or as close to as possible)... I turned up my ipod in order to silence my screaming shins and concentrated on shaking it all night long with ACDC (yes I'm a bogan at heart), pouring some sugar on me with Def Leppard, living it up with Mental as Anything and Superstylin' with Groove Armada.

Before I knew it I was back at home and I'd only been gone for 35 minutes - no wonder my shins were crying I must have been bloody powering it. Then something weird happened...I started doing lunges, squats, sit-ups and curls - WHO IS THIS PERSON?? I'M OUT OF CONTROL!!!!

Oh and -yeah, we went to vote and of course the token sausage sizzle was there - it smelt sooooooooo good and I bought lovely boyfriend one, but I declined! A man we were chatting to even commented and I said "I'm watching what I eat", he said he does too...watches it go in his mouth...lol!

As I sit here writing I am wondering has something finally clicked, is thing weight loss/health gig finally sinking into my subconscious? Am I finally able to make good decisions without the battle in my head? Are the changes here for good?

PS - How corny is this - I got goosebumps at the polling booth, it almost made me a little teary, watching all the different people I couldn't help but think this is really the only time the whole nation comes together to take action and really make a difference!

.8 is Great!!!

2010-08-20T18:12:00.001+10:00

Weigh in last night and was really chuffed with a loss of .8! Even more chuffed because for the last couple of weeks I have been weighing in on Saturdays, so technically it was only 5 days in between weigh-ins! Could I have lost another 200g in 2 days and make it a nice round kilo - who cares!

I made a couple of changes this week, taking raw vegies and boiled eggs to work for snacking on - I definitely feel fuller and the "need" for processed foods in lessening!

We are going to NZ in 7-8 weeks for my Grandma's 90th! I'm a bit excited about seeing all my relatives again, its going to be a bit of a reunion and a heap of us from Oz are going. Best of all its given me an event to use as motivation - My goal is to be under 100 kilos by then! So stay tuned for the next exciting chapter as my fat suit shrinks!!

PS - Do you have any good breakfast ideas? They need to be easy and transportable - I tend to stick to vegemite on toast and think I need to add some nutrients in to start the day

10 kilos Gone Baby Gone - Progress Pics!

2010-08-15T11:17:00.001+10:00

I think I can definitely see a difference!! I definitely look happier!

April 10 - After 5 kilos

15 Aug 10 - 10 Kilos gone!!

Thank You Weight Watchers & My Bloggie Support Group!

2010-08-14T13:12:00.002+10:00

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!

I've reached one of my milestone goals today!

My weight is now ten kilos less than it was six months ago and I couldn't have done it without WW or the fantastically amazing support that I get here!

A big shout out goes to the following bloggie friends:

Diminishing Lucy - who is a true goddess, she always has a kind word and virtual hug!
Diminishing Deb - who is just an inspiration with how she has turned her life around and is so full of love for everyone!
Robbie - I can't put into words what Robbie does for me and on the days she doesn't blog I just don't feel right!
Jess - whose dedication and success is spurring me along!
Ali - who is just so cool with her honesty and bravery (especially posting pics of herself in swimmers)
Lou - because she is one of my real life best friends - not that blogging isn't real - but it was the best way to describe it

Of course there are many other bloggers that I read and love, but to list you all here wouldn't make for very exciting reading!

Even though it has taken me 6 months to lose 10 kilos, I don't care - it could be far far worse I could be 10 (or 20) kilos heavier and...well....you all know what that means.

I don't think I could have done it without you guys patting me on the back, providing reality checks and encouraging me when I needed it!

So to all my followers and to those I follow - THANK YOU for taking the time to share your words, your time and know that you make a huge difference in the life of at least one!!

PS - Will post some update shots soon ;-)

PPS - ideas for a reward greatly accepted - nothing I think of excites me!!

Wishy Washy

2010-08-11T12:06:00.001+10:00

I have been very wishy washy with my weight loss efforts this week which means I'm not sure how weigh in is going to go.

I'm putting it down to my awesome and busy weekend, because I didn't make time to plan my menu and exercise for this week!

I've only exercised a couple of times - walking and a bike ride (is a public holiday today so we jumped on and went for a ride by the water this morning), but my eating hasn't been great. We went to dinner and then a party last night....even though I was full from dinner, I kept picking at the chips...normally I would try and stay as far away as possible from them, but it was a party where I didn't know anyone so safely stayed in one spot!

Oh well onwards and upwards - I know what I need to and think I will weigh-in on Saturday again as this gives me a couple of days to make amends as well as means I have a full week between weigh-ins (I normally go on Thursday, but didn't last week).

Living for The Weekend

2010-08-09T20:25:00.000+10:00

I had one of the best weekend's ever, this weekend just gone!

My lovely boyfirend and I finally got to spend a whole weekend together! We packed our bags and headed to the Ekka - the Brisbane Exhibition or annual show/fair for those not local to Queensland!

We had a total blast - well I did! I didn't eat very much junk - 1 Dagwood Dog and 1 ice-cream and boy did we walk. Both of us had sore legs yesterday! Yesterday we took future mother-in-law for Yum Cha and wine in the sun by the river!

It was just awesome to spend some time together!!

Me and A Lovely Llama

Lovely Boyfriend and Beer

Ekka View

Spare a thought for this boy -1332 kilos!!

Kids!

Postscript

2010-08-07T19:37:00.001+10:00

After writing that letter last night I did a lot of reflecting and that old bag "self-doubt" and her bitchy friend "self-criticism" started to try and worm their way in.

They started to try and remind me of the mistakes I have made, of times when I haven't treated myself well and times I didn't behaved in ways that make me proud. They tried to make me question if I really can change and be the person I want to be!

Why do we do that to ourselves? How do we deal with those cows?

I only want the beautiful 'self-confidence' and 'self-love' in my life, I want only them pushing me forward, encouraging me to treat myself right and guiding me away from the evil ones mentioned above.

I worked through it by embracing those thoughts and telling myself that time when I wasn't doing the right thing was because I was still learning about life, about myself and getting some things out of my system. I tell myself that I have learnt from it and while those days are part of who I am, they are the dirt beneath the foundation....now I am building that foundation, putting the posts in place and cementing over the top of the crap. Slowly and surely I am building a beautiful home for my soul and I can't wait to decorate it!!

How do you deal with those evil little bugs that try to undermine your good work?

PS - Weigh-in update - stayed the same this week :-)

Dear Andrea (A Letter to Myself)

2010-08-06T22:08:00.000+10:00

Dear Andrea,

This letter is to tell you that I am so proud of you! Your mind and body are so strong and you have proved that you can make changes in order improve your health, attitude and emotional state.

I know you are feeling frustrated career wise at the moment, but remember you are an intelligent and wonderful human being and you really must back yourself and believe that you can make a change.

You know your favorite saying is "Whatever decision you make will turn out for the best, because you make sure they do" and I think this is the time to really start making decisions about what is best for you over the next couple of years.

Every day you tell yourself to write down the reasons for the healthy changes your are making, so come on what are they?

Ok I'll tell you......

1. Your health
2. To be healthy and energetic
3. To start a family
4. For a better attitude and mental state
5. So you can buy nice clothes

And most important of all....so your outside matches your beautiful inside!

My darling, you deserve the best in life and not to miss out on ANYTHING! This is your chance now to embrace the momentum you have created and carve yourself the most beautiful life, full of friends, family, love and laughter.

Go forth my girl and show yourself what you're made of!!

Love always,
You xx

PS - You will be HOT!!!

Realisation

2010-08-01T12:54:00.000+10:00

I had a realisation today...not quite an epiphany but a definite realisation of how hard all this weight I'm carrying around is making my life!

We had another glorious morning here and I met my girlfriend and her baby at our local markets for brekky and a catch up. Baby got restless in the pram and mum wanted to shop so yours truly offered to carry her for a bit!

Whoa it didn't take long for her to get heavy (you mumma's are probably laughing now) and when I asked how much baby weighs, her mum said 8.5 kilos...this is where it hit me!!

Weight for it (sorry about the pun!)

"Sh*t, F*ck" I thought - "That's less than I have lost, and its taken me less than 20 minutes to get over hanging onto it" (no offence baby). Then it really put into prespective that I still have about 40 kilos to get rid of - that's over 4 and half babies of the same size!

My life is going to be AMAZING and so much EASIER then!

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

It's a Beautiful Day!

2010-07-31T19:14:00.000+10:00

It was a beautiful morning here in Brisbane and can you believe that it 27 degrees! 27 in July!! Woo-hoo!

I couldn't convince my lovely boyfriend to have a sickie today but he did take me out for breakfast. We sat with our eggs and vegies, hollandaise on the side looking out onto the spectacular Manly Marina and went for a walk to soak in some rays and fresh air!

I forgot take my camera with me today. But I do have some piccies from one of my walks earlier in the week.

These are taken around the Teneriffe river walk in Brisbane! Another great area for exercise! God I love this city!

I was trying to capture the row of lights but my camera is ancient and it was extremely windy! I like the effect that I ended up with though!

This post wouldn't be complete with a nice very close up of me! (I hope you can't see any boogas!!)

Neighbours!

2010-07-31T12:47:00.000+10:00

Could someone please tell my neighbours to quit with the power tools!

They are ruining my otherwise peacful afternoon - uh on other thoughts I'll just shut the door!

Check out my Ticker and Tips!

2010-07-30T21:22:00.002+10:00

Hi Guys, I had a happy result this week with a 300 gram loss...only 100g shy of 400 I needed to get to my 10 kilos. But it has made me even more determined to keep an eye on what goes in my mouth and what exercise I do during this coming week!

A couple of tips I've used this week (although I must say I haven't kept 100% on track with a few vino's slipping in!) have been:

Telling myself I know what the birthday cake in the office tastes like so I don't have to eat any
Having a glass of wine and then filling the glass with water, strangely it feels like I'm still drinking wine
Drinking Hot Chocolate with skim milk instead of dessert

Anyway better run, hooked on Trial and Retribution at the moment! Will post some piccies over the weekend!

My Focus

2010-07-26T08:18:00.000+10:00

Hi Everyone,

Monday morning is here and I thought that I'd quickly put my goals and focus for this week into cyberspace before I start work.

My focus is to lose at least 400g to take me to the the 10 kg mark.

I am in no way expecting a loss a big as last week's 3 kg (I just had top say it again) but I am determined to not gain any of it back.

My menu plan is set at 21 points per day, saving 2 each day for wiggle room (you know, in case I need a little extra).

As for exercise, I didn't do any except for housework and ironing (Diminishing Lucy you read right - I've taken a leaf out of your book after reading how nice and easier it is to do it all at once) over the weekend. But am getting myself into gear as of today. See list to the right!

Love to you all xx

PS - I watched "My Life in Ruins" yesterday (while ironing) - great feel good flick!! Highly recommend it!

My Savoury Muffins

2010-07-25T19:32:00.000+10:00

A few weeks ago I posted this pic of the yummy 2 point muffins that I made and have continued to make for the last couple of weekends. Some of you asked for the recipe and I apologise for being slack, but I proise to make up for it now with it here:

Dry Ingredients:

2 cups of flour

110g 97% fat free sundried tomatoes

250g bacon bits (real ones, not the freeze dried crap)

1 zucchini - grated

120g feta

1 medium onion - diced

Wet Ingredients:

3/4c low fat milk

1 egg

1/4c fruit chutney or 3/4 crushed pineapple

Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees celcius.

Sift flour into large bowl and add all dry ingredients - mix well.

In a small bowl or jug combine wet ingredients.

Create a well in dry ingredients and slowly add wet mixture while stirring, make sure wet mixture picks up all dry ingredients.

Spoon into a greased muffin tray and bake for approx. 20 minutes or until golden brown.

Bon appetit!

Pride (In The Name of Love)

2010-07-22T22:01:00.000+10:00

Weigh in update, will be short and sweet today as I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open!

Well my hard work and focus paid off and I have got past this bump in the road.

The weight loss gods smiled and rewarded me by removing a HUGE 3 kilos!! Taking me to a total of 9.6 kilos lost. I'm looking the 10 kilo mark in the face and getting excited about my next reward which either be a facial or going to a make-up counter and having a consultant re-fresh my make-up! I can use a new look!

I'm feeling extremely proud of myself and can't help but get excited about seeing double digits soon!!

Feeling Alright - Uh Ah!

2010-07-21T20:25:00.001+10:00

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I have to say I am feeling quietly confident and do you want to know why?

Because I have been doing everything right!

I've stuck to my exercise plan - and actually snuck in a bit more during lunch breaks and by doing some extra housework (crazy I know!)

I've stuck to my points for the week - actually I've gone slightly less with 22 out of 24 - to leave myself some wiggle room in case I need it!

I've planned ahead and not snuck anything extra in!

Best and hardest of all - I've not even had one sip of alcohol! (How long can it last?)

Weight loss gods - I'm in your hands now!!

PS - people are starting to notice ;-)

Seeking Alternatives

2010-07-19T20:28:00.002+10:00

I'm looking for alternatives.

Alternative things to say when I'm in situations where I have to explain this journey that I'm on without sounding like a d*ck!

What's got me thinking?

I've got a week long work conference coming up and we all know that usually means night time drinking and socialising. I want to socialise but not have the big nights. I want to get up for walks in the morning and I know the topic will come up.

In "Think Slim" by Mark Stephens he argues against thinking and talking in terms of "losing" weight because it has connotations of finding it again.

I want to say something funny, firm, but positive too!

What can you suggest?

Baby did a bad bad thing!

2010-07-17T09:33:00.000+10:00

Confession Time - I didn't track, I didn't exercise and I put on the kilo that it took me four weeks to lose ;-(

Here are the reasons - my back is screwed, the early part of the week saw me in excrutiating pain because I have a twisted pelvis and twisted vertebrae (which are being treated), I felt completely off kilter and didn't do any planning. Also my future mother in law was staying and she had to test out the kitchen by cooking us lovely comfort food!

Anyway I'm back on track and mostly pain free, so have my menu and exercise plan sorted already.

Exercise plan is as follows:

Today - Pilates (I need some core strength)
Sunday - Walk or cycle
Monday - Body Balance (more core strength and stretching)
Tuesday - Remedial Massage
Wednesday - Walk 6.5 kms
Thursday - Walk 6.5 kms
Friday - Body Balance

I'm confident that all the exercise and a clear eating plan will see me lose it quickly! And if I do I think I need a little reward! Maybe an Outrageous Fortune DVD or new motivational book!

I'm So Tired!

2010-07-11T08:29:00.001+10:00

My brother visited on Friday - he needed to cut loose after working hard for the last 2 months in remote PNG. So we hit the town! We drank, we ate, we danced! We had FUN!!

I had a full day yesterday of errands and more vistors and I need more sleep!

I'm going back to bed and I'm not going to feel guilty - because while I'm asleep I'm not eating!!

PS - weigh-in on Thursday - another half a kilo gone forever! People are starting to notice!

Sunday in Pictures

2010-07-04T17:47:00.000+10:00

It was a glorious winter's day here in Brisbane today and I had to get out and amongst it. I have a feeling I'll be working late tomorrow and won't get my walk in so thought I'd go for a ride today. The tyres on my bike are flat so I took lovely boyfriend's out on the Moretan Bay Cycleway! Look out pedestrians!

Here are some shots of the great views!

I had to tackle this narrow bridge!! I was a bit wobbly let me tell you!

I got home and could snack on the delicious muffins I made this morning - only 2 points each!!

Sex and Loving Yourself

2010-07-04T12:29:00.000+10:00

My lovely boyfriend pointed out to me yesterday that almost every time he tells me I'm sexy, beautiful, hot and that wants me - I knock him back or put him down by saying things like "Good On Ya", "As if" ...you get the drift.

This comment and reading posts such as This One by Fat Girl vs the World got me thinking why do I knock him down.

I figure its because I don't believe him, I don't feel worthy of it and I think my comments to him are actually aimed at me..they are more to do with how I feel about me than how I feel about him. Sex is so related to how we feel about ourselves

The funny thing is for years, I let other men - who didn't care two hoots about me - "have it". May be it was easier to deal because they didn't love me I didn't have to let them get close and see the me that I consider worthless and ugly, the fat suit hid all of this! I could be someone else with them, funny, carefree, wild and crazy.

The sad thing is the one who wants to be with me gets the real me - the low self-esteem, the crankiness, the emotional ups and downs, the low sex-drive!

The good thing is - I have identified it and now I can work on loving me so I can love him more too!