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Fun, Love, Laughter, the joys of being a thirty something newlywed as I fight the battle of the bulge while trying to start a family and build a successful career!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

I have a problem with alcohol

I have a problem with alcohol.

For some reason I don't want to say I have an alcohol problem.

My problem is not that I need to drink everyday, or that I miss work or appointments because of it. I function completely normally (well as normally as I can). In fact I can go weeks without it and most of the time I can have one or two and be happy.

But sometimes I binge drink, in fact I think I bring new meaning to phrase.

Once I start I just can't stop.  No-once can tell me that I have had enough - that just incites me to drink more. Its like I just get caught up in the fun of the night and the buzz that alcohol gives me and there feels something tragic about having an empty glass. I know that I drink way too fast!

On these occasions I drink till I pass out and normally spend the first few hours of the morning spewing and groaning and farting and generally being a horrible smelly mess. Once I recover I spend the rest of the day apologising to my man and feeling like a loser.

Its a problem because its happened two weeks in a row now. I have to go to a party now and I'm anxious about the alcohol there.

I don't feel that I need AA but I do feel that I need to examine the behaviour that occurs before I get in to such a state.

I feel like shit and that everyone can tell I have this horrible secret.  It's embarassing and humiliating and I'm sick of ruining my time off.

5 comments:

Leanne said...

Yeah, I hear you. My husband likes to drink. I don't because I often end up overdoing it. I really don't like the after affects. I'm starting to get it sorted though. I am more mindful when I go out. I don't start drinking too early, I drink a glass of water in between and I just try to be mindful.
Best wishes when you go out tonight!

Lucy said...

First up, I think you are really brave and wonderful & self aware to be posting about this so honestly.

How about you just stop?

Is that something you can see yourself doing?

You know my story. I have walked in your shoes. Never an alcoholic, but a habitual binge drinker.

You know where I am babe...xx

Amelia said...

Just wanted to say bravo for your post! It takes a great deal of strength to admit to having a slight problem (if you have a problem that is). I use to drink a lot of wine but quit when I got sick of the hangovers. Now I rarely drink, i still miss my wine sometimes, specially when I've had a hard day. But, I know that one glass - most of the time - won't be enough. So I go without.

In a few weeks, Hubby and I are going off with some friends and I know we'll be drinking. And im pretty sure I will get drunk and deal with the hangover the next day (lol). But in all honestly, that one night will be enough to remind me why I don't drink every day.

Good Luck To You!!!

Diminishing Lucy said...

Andrea, how are you going with all this stuff now? Better? Worse? Update?

Thank you for linking up to the Weekend Rewind!

Wanderlust said...

How brave you are to open up and talk about this with such honesty. That's a huge step towards finding a solution - huge.

I can't advise you because I haven't walked in your shoes, but I can applaud your strength and spirit. x

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