Dear Andrea (A Letter to Myself)

Dear Andrea,

This letter is to tell you that I am so proud of you! Your mind and body are so strong and you have proved that you can make changes in order improve your health, attitude and emotional state.

I know you are feeling frustrated career wise at the moment, but remember you are an intelligent and wonderful human being and you really must back yourself and believe that you can make a change.

You know your favorite saying is "Whatever decision you make will turn out for the best, because you make sure they do" and I think this is the time to really start making decisions about what is best for you over the next couple of years.

Every day you tell yourself to write down the reasons for the healthy changes your are making, so come on what are they?

Ok I'll tell you......

1. Your health
2. To be healthy and energetic
3. To start a family
4. For a better attitude and mental state
5. So you can buy nice clothes

And most important of all....so your outside matches your beautiful inside!

My darling, you deserve the best in life and not to miss out on ANYTHING! This is your chance now to embrace the momentum you have created and carve yourself the most beautiful life, full of friends, family, love and laughter.

Go forth my girl and show yourself what you're made of!!

Love always,
You xx


PS - You will be HOT!!!

Sex and Loving Yourself

My lovely boyfriend pointed out to me yesterday that almost every time he tells me I'm sexy, beautiful, hot and that wants me - I knock him back or put him down by saying things like "Good On Ya", "As if" ...you get the drift.


This comment and reading posts such as This One by Fat Girl vs the World got me thinking why do I knock him down.

I figure its because I don't believe him, I don't feel worthy of it and I think my comments to him are actually aimed at me..they are more to do with how I feel about me than how I feel about him. Sex is so related to how we feel about ourselves

The funny thing is for years, I let other men - who didn't care two hoots about me - "have it". May be it was easier to deal because they didn't love me I didn't have to let them get close and see the me that I consider worthless and ugly, the fat suit hid all of this! I could be someone else with them, funny, carefree, wild and crazy.

The sad thing is the one who wants to be with me gets the real me - the low self-esteem, the crankiness, the emotional ups and downs, the low sex-drive!

The good thing is - I have identified it and now I can work on loving me so I can love him more too!

Friday On My Mind

Well actually it's here already and I'm snuggled up on my ownsome and thought it would be a good time to reflect on my week and let you in on some future planning!

Health wise - a good week, just middle of the road good. I exercise 4 times, walking - 2 x 50 minutes walk, 1 x 20 minute walk and 1 x30 minute walk.  I feel in the swing of that now and am planning to do a Yoga or Pilates class over the weekend.  As for eating - ok, couple of days over points, nothing too major and I lost .2 kgs. I've really boosted my vegie intake, I just love wine too much!

Mindset - I've noticed a definite change in the way I'm thinking about food, particularly cravings. Every morning this week, I've craved (I use the term lightly) a big huge fat savoury muffin and on the way to work I argue with myself - but the side that says "you can't eat anything you don't know the points value for" wins, it also comes up with such pearls like "it could be 20 points and that almost all your points for the day", "how much walking will I have to do to walk it off", "the food I have with me will be much more filling", "you didn't say no to cake yesterday to ruin it all today"!!

Uni - got results back from 2 assignments I submitted before Easter and got 89/100 for one and 94.5/100 for the other - needless to say - I AM STOKED!!

Work - Good week, been given the ok to take on some more responsibility and work a bit more autonomously - to fill you in - I have been working in a newly created role for the last 6 months, there is stacks to learn and we've been waiting to see what shape it would take.

Love - my man is a gem, has cooked healthy dinners for me all week and told me he wants to take me on  an overseas trip this year! Yippee!!

Future - we are looking at buying our own business, I'll keep working and Alex will run it! Looking at cafe/bakery type thing! Tres exciting!

All in all life is good and I am thankful and grateful to everyone who has influenced it!

I Miss My Boyfriend today!

I miss my boyfriend today, really badly. He's at work until god knows when and has worked every day this weekend. I just want him home so I can have a cuddle, make him dinner and go to bed.  He would love to know that I feel like this I'm usually worried about everything else other than him.  We had big night last night, dinner with friends then us girls we back to there place for girlie chat while the boys went to the casino. My poor boy was already knackered after work and then they didn't get home until 3 or 4am!  Today would have been perfect to have a late lunch and hang out watching movies, doing stuff that couples who work normal hours!  I hope he can come home early!

10 Things I Love (plus one)

1. My boyfriend (Alex)
2. My family
3. My friends (especially Mel, Lou & Dea)
4. My fur-babies (Fanta & Zeus)
5. Sleeping in (got a big one today -10am!!)
6. Reading a good book (the ones where your life feels empty when you've finished)
7. Running into people you know when you least expect it (this could also be on a hate list depending on how one looks at the time!)
8. Cooking for other people (yum yum!)
9. The feeling you get after exercise!
10. Being Happy!!
and
11. Being Me!!

I didn't really feel like writing today but I have a massive fan base of 13 now and I want to keep you all happy!  I have had a really lazy day and feel so good for it, though I did go to the market for fruit and veg! Was in a bit of a nothing mood, but had a quick chat with Mel who I broke the news of Paul Weller touring again to and she is so excited; her energy has perked me up, as has listing the things that I love. So going for a walk to shops to get the ingredient I forgot while doing my big shop yesterday - god I hope IGA stock the light version!! Have a great day everyone!

PS - Alex did a wonderful thing last night! On our way home form dinner I suggested we do our usual and call into Baskin Robbins for a treat. He said "I think they might be closed", I said "Why don't we drive past and check?", he said "Why don't we just pretend its closed and go straight home", I said "Great idea!!".