Let's Talk About Sex

Image borrowed from here

I am reading Mia Culpa by Mia Freedman and she makes some interesting observations about how people talk about sex.

I used to talk about sex ALL the time, probably because I actually got very little or because the little I did get was limited to one night stands or bootie calls.  I reflect on this time (my twenties & if I'm honest early thirties) and I think I talked about it and turned my sexcapades in tales of adventure and hilarity in order to hide the feelings of worthlessness and being used that I really felt, the ones that hit faster than you put your knickers back on!

That post-orgasm glow disappeared with the smoke if the post-coital cigarette and I turned it into something to be laughed at, to be shrieked and humour was to become my shield.

I don't talk about sex so much now.  I can't help but wonder why. Even when my friends bring it up, I turn all prudish and don't feel the need to discuss, have I moved to a different stage of life?  That stage where I don't feel the need to broadcast the details to anyone who will listen. Is it because I have a man who loves me for me, that doesn't only want me just to scratch that itch?  Or have I just become boring?

How has the way you talk about sex changed as you get older or your relationships change?

Tony Soprano makes Me Horny!

Yeah I know, most if you are probably screwing your noses up!

I know he's not your regular sex symbol (ie David Beckham, Julio Iglesies, Hugh Jackman). But I've always liked guys who don't quite fit that manlier than man stereotype...(but I would kick Beckham out of bed).

But there is just something about Tony Soprano that gets me going (no it's not because he 's trying to be cute in the pic below) and there are no complaints from a certain someone in my house ;-)

I have watched season 1 through 3 over the last few months and its not until season 3 that I noticed any stirrings in that direction at all.

Maybe it's the power, maybe it's the money, maybe it's the danger, maybe it's the vulnerable interior sheltered by the tough shell. Maybe it's the fact that he pulls hot chicks, maybe it's my inner neandethal.

I can't help but think this temporary fantasy says more about me than it does about the character.  I wonder what Doctor Melfi would say?

What unlikely characters have done it for you??

Sex and Loving Yourself

My lovely boyfriend pointed out to me yesterday that almost every time he tells me I'm sexy, beautiful, hot and that wants me - I knock him back or put him down by saying things like "Good On Ya", "As if" ...you get the drift.


This comment and reading posts such as This One by Fat Girl vs the World got me thinking why do I knock him down.

I figure its because I don't believe him, I don't feel worthy of it and I think my comments to him are actually aimed at me..they are more to do with how I feel about me than how I feel about him. Sex is so related to how we feel about ourselves

The funny thing is for years, I let other men - who didn't care two hoots about me - "have it". May be it was easier to deal because they didn't love me I didn't have to let them get close and see the me that I consider worthless and ugly, the fat suit hid all of this! I could be someone else with them, funny, carefree, wild and crazy.

The sad thing is the one who wants to be with me gets the real me - the low self-esteem, the crankiness, the emotional ups and downs, the low sex-drive!

The good thing is - I have identified it and now I can work on loving me so I can love him more too!